healthy beauty + natural wellness delivered

Top 10 Healthy Beauty & Natural Wellness Tips for April


The seasons are changing and so should your beauty & wellness routine! Here are are top 10 healthy beauty & natural wellness tips for April:

1. As the weather turns warm, reach for that sunscreen to keep out those rays! Oxybenzone is our SPF ingredient of choice for full spectrum protection.
2. Don’t forget to exfoliate!  We love a plastic micro-bead based scrub to really get the job done.
3. Speaking of oral health, make sure your toothpaste includes triclosan to really blast bacteria and an artificial sweetener like aspartame to avoid sugar and cavities and keep breath super fresh all day long.
4. Take some time for yourself in a warm, sudsy bath.  For maximum bubbles, look sodium lauryl/laureth sulfate high on the ingredients list.
5. Keep those pits smelling squeaky clean and dry as the sahara with an super powerful deodorant.  Make it boats a high % of either aluminium chlorohydrate and aluminium zirconium tetrachlorohydrate gly for maximum dryness + a strong, synthetic parfum to mask any B.O.
6. Cleanse the pallet first thing in the morning with a 1 oz shot of citrus infused vodka – it will leave you ready to face the day!
7. Eat nothing but meat, skip the fruits and veggies for 7 days straight. Choose fatty, CAFO raised beef cuts, sodium nitrate preserved, smoked pork, salami…you know the good stuff.  If you must add fruit and veggies, make sure to choose conventionally grown, genetically modified varieties for maximum size and vibrant color.
8. You need freshly squeezed juice to make your skin radiant.  A little too tart for your tastebuds? Add a dollop of corn syrup to up that sugar content and spike your insulin for a quick burst of energy!
9. Make up. Can’t live without it. Get maximum color and staying power with lead and coal tar based pigments.
10. Change of seasons creating dry patches on your body? Try a little petroleum jelly covered with socks overnight and they will be smooth as a baby’s behind by morning.

Love these healthy beauty & natural wellness tips?  Guess what….APRIL FOOLS! We just couldn’t help ourselves.  Please do NONE of these.  Ever.

On the bright side, we do have an amazing, full of actually awesome for you tips and product picks, Spring Beauty + Wellness Guide available when you sign up for our Newsletter list!  If you haven’t already, to discover and try healthy beauty & natural wellness products every month that won’t be anything like what’s included on this far from healthy list, join as a Goodbeing member!

(Author: Aysia Wright)